The Maladjusted Jester - Danny Kaye

[00:0.0]The Maladjusted Jester - Danny Kaye
[00:0.74]I am prepared to make a statement
[00:4.33]When I was a lad I was gloomy and sad
[00:6.25]And I was from the day I was born
[00:8.35]When other lads giggled and gurgled and wiggled
[00:9.84]I proudly was loudly forlorn
[00:11.89]My friends and my family looked at me clammily
[00:13.72]Thought there was something amiss
[00:15.28]When others found various antics hilarious
[00:17.43]All I could manage was this
[00:19.06]Or this he he
[00:20.05]Or this ho ho
[00:20.97]Or this waahhh
[00:23.0]My father he shouted he needs to be clouted
[00:24.56]His teeth on a wreath I'll hand him
[00:26.54]My mother she cried as she rushed to my side
[00:28.13]You re a brute and you don't understand him
[00:30.07]So they send for a witch with a terrible twitch
[00:31.73]To ask how my future impressed her
[00:33.64]She took one look at me and cried
[00:35.68]He he he he he he
[00:37.52]He he he he
[00:39.95]What else could he be but a jester
[00:42.09]A jester a jester a funny idea a jester
[00:46.54]No butcher no baker no candlestick maker
[00:48.31]And me with the look of a fine undertaker
[00:50.12]Impressed her
[00:51.81]As a jester
[00:53.92]Now where could I learn any comical turn
[00:55.39]That was not in a book on the shelf
[00:57.47]No teacher to take me and mold me and make me
[00:59.43]A merryman fool or an elf
[01:01.95]But I'm proud to recall that in no time at all
[01:04.9]With no other recourses but my own resources
[01:07.98]With firm application and determination
[01:13.92]I made a fool of myself
[01:26.18]I found a bow and arrow and I learned to shoot
[01:28.65]I bought a little a horn and I learned to toot
[01:31.65]Now I can shoot and toot ain't that cute
[01:46.13]I started to travel to try to unravel
[01:48.65]My mind and to find a new chance
[01:51.65]When I got to Spain it was suddenly plain
[01:54.8]That the field that appealed was the dance
[01:57.98]The Spanish were clannish but I wouldn't vanish
[01:61.]I learned every step they had planned
[01:64.22]The first step of all isn't hard to recall
[01:66.98]'Cause the first step of all is to stand
[01:71.75]And stand
[01:75.13]And stand
[01:77.68]And stand
[02:47.88]I was badly injured but king was amused
[02:52.38]That before a siesta he made me his jester
[02:55.62]And I found out soon that to be a buffoon
[02:58.72]Was a serious thing as a rule
[02:61.77]For a jester's chief employment
[02:64.52]Is to kill himself for your enjoyment
[02:67.65]And a jester unemployed is nobody's fool