Master of the House - Various Artists

[00:15.32]Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down
[00:18.49]And meet the best innkeeper in town
[00:23.74]As for the rest, all of 'em crooks:
[00:26.58]Rooking their guests and crooking the books
[00:32.36]Seldom do you see
[00:36.43]Honest men like me
[00:37.93]A gent of good intent
[00:40.73]Who's content to be
[00:45.18]Master of the house, doling out the charm
[00:47.69]Ready with a handshake and an open palm
[00:50.81]Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir
[00:53.78]Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
[00:56.92]Glad to do a friend a favor
[00:59.98]Doesn't cost me to be nice
[01:02.98]But nothing gets you nothing
[01:05.95]Everything has got a little price!
[01:09.24]Master of the house, keeper of the zoo
[01:12.18]Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two
[01:15.26]Watering the wine, making up the weight
[01:18.35]Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
[01:21.53]Everybody loves a landlord
[01:24.43]Everybody's bosom friend
[01:27.56]I do whatever pleases
[01:29.22]Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
[01:31.91]Thenardier & Drinkers:
[01:32.42]Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye
[01:35.91]Never wants a passerby to pass him by
[01:38.38]Servant to the poor, butler to the great
[01:41.35]Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate!
[01:44.64]Everybody's boon companion
[01:47.65]Everybody's chaperone
[01:50.69]But lock up your valises
[01:52.57]Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!
[01:59.70]Enter Monsieur, lay down your load
[02:03.07]Unlace your boots, rest from the road
[02:08.46]This weighs a ton, travel's a curse
[02:12.33]But here we strive to lighten your purse
[02:17.64]Here the goose is cooked
[02:21.52]Here the fat is fried
[02:23.73]And nothing's overlooked
[02:26.35]Till I'm satisfied
[02:30.83]Food beyond compare. Food beyond belief
[02:33.81]Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
[02:36.85]Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat
[02:39.90]Filling up the sausages with this and that
[02:43.22]Residents are more than welcome
[02:46.44]Bridal suite is occupied
[02:49.55]Reasonable charges
[02:50.89]Plus some little extras on the side!
[02:55.81]Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice
[02:59.44]Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
[03:01.85]Here a little slice, there a little cut
[03:04.78]Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
[03:07.91]When it comes to fixing prices
[03:11.21]There are a lot of tricks he knows
[03:14.01]How it all increases, all them bits and pieces
[03:16.98]Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
[03:20.61]Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye
[03:23.63]Never wants a passerby to pass him by
[03:26.74]Servant to the poor, butler to the great
[03:29.72]Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate!
[03:32.96]Everybody's boon companion
[03:36.20]Gives 'em everything he's got
[03:39.13]Dirty bunch of geezers
[03:40.78]Jesus! What a sorry little lot!
[03:50.32]I used to dream that I would meet a prince
[03:54.95]But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?
[04:02.87]Master of the house? Isn't worth my spit!
[04:06.84]`Comforter, philosopher' and lifelong ****!
[04:12.64]Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire
[04:15.39]Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there
[04:19.78]What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse
[04:27.16]God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!
[04:31.98]Master of the house!
[04:33.54]Master and a half!
[04:35.03]Comforter, philosopher
[04:36.57]Ah, don't make me laugh!
[04:37.97]Servant to the poor, butler to the great
[04:41.34]Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!
[04:43.97]Everybody bless the landlord!
[04:47.14]Everybody bless his spouse!
[04:50.06]Everybody raise a glass
[04:53.62]Raise it up the master's ass
[04:56.20]Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House!